beneath this smile,
no one knows how much pain i had gone through.
how much pain tat is bottled inside..
killing me slowly..
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 11:29 PM
not all scars show, not all wounds heal.
sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels..
no one really understands the pain bottled inside.
people jus saw the smiles and overlooked the mess.
- the strongest challenge you would ever face is to smile when there are millions of tears in your eyes..
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- 2:54 AM
7.18.2008
ahh loads of hw to do.
still have mock exams tml morning.
lots of exams coming up.. prelims.. mock exams.
stressed @@
got the urge to finish up the tests mrs ng gave, study my chem and humanites..
hope i will have time soon for all tat.
gogo ah san!
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 3:15 PM
7.17.2008
nth much to blog about..
as usual school today.
dun have remedials or anything after tat.
went home straight.
ahah.
watched district 13 wif her.
nice movie :D
she went off to meet him after tat.
ahh.
went to hougang mall wif richmond and amanda.
rich wanted to stalk gwen.
hhas.
really went into her when we were going to the top floor.
rich immediately went to hide -.-
now hes emo about her.
went to buy another dvd name shooter.
about sniper and stuffs.
hope it will be nice.
got the urge these few days to like keep buying dvd and watch them ==
waited for quency at mac after tat.
she took long to reach. zzz.
went home after she reach.
didnt want to stay along wif them.
hmm. going to do krishnan`s hw..
im boredddd. ><
kinda confused about stuffs. argh.
anyways. what can i really do about it?
nth at all..
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 9:18 PM
7.15.2008
whats there to say?
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- 9:45 PM
7.14.2008
back from school. had english enrichment jus now and ended so late.
alright.
time to study hard. drink less. smk less. exercise more. eat well.
shld really revise all my work now and buck up on my humanities.
dont wanna think too much already.
it doesnt help.
heartbroken or not, shes jus the way she is.
theres really somethings tat really wun change.
accept the fact yea.
unfair or not.
its still the fact.
studies shld be my priority now.
work hard and keep myself busy. :)
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 5:06 PM
7.13.2008
im really very disappointed. really.
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- 10:48 PM
i got it now.
everything else is more important than me.
no wonder i always longed for a punching bag.
no wonder they says cig are your best friend..
tears fell uncontrollably..
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 7:45 PM
told me shes jus going to meet him for awhile.
look at the time now.
isit really awhile?
told me shes going home.
is she now?
fuck.
i dont wanna care anymore.
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 7:16 PM
jus finished my lunch..
went home late and didnt even know what time is it.
ahhhhhhhh.
her days wif him are like so unforgettable and fun.
shes always enjoying it.
how about mine?
i dunno ><
she didnt even mention it. not even once. unlike him..
nvm.
have to finish krishnan`s homework later.
shes off to meet him now.
awww. this feeling in my heart again. zzz.
he jus seems much more important me.
nth i can do..
anyways. i will exercise more often from now on.
wahahaha :D
a fitter ah san. woohoo~
- 点了支不想抽的烟. 思念像烟圈飘散在窗边.. ><
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 3:22 PM
7.11.2008
i did everything i could.
i gave everything i can.
things are jus still the same.
guess i shld jus give the last bit of hope up ><
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 8:48 PM
back from school. had this detention which is like sitting there for 2 hours. fucking boring.. still have another detention which is 1 hour on tues. zzz. my teacher went missing during a maths lesson. something cropped up i tink. hhas. have science tuition tml at 1 pm. dunno wan go anot. lols. shld be going but theres deals tml. theres still a night class at sch which is around 9 plus i tink. weird timing -.- accidently toppled a cup of drink and it spilled on pigpig. ahh psps =x didnt mean it. going to meet her at punggol during 6 plus. tinking of meeting my frens first at sch cos theres this pop parade for ncc and they are going to observe it or something. boring. dun tink can make it for movie wif them later. hmm. on second thoughts im going to rest at home first.. dun feel like going out yet. off to bed for a nap now :D tatas.
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- 4:39 PM
7.10.2008
ahhh. feeling so bored now. quite tired.. going to bed soon.
she keeps falling asleep on the phone. what a pig. hhas. underpig :x theres detention tml after school. jus for being late almost everyday. ahah. as usual theres nth much to do except smking.. argh. wonder when is the swimming complex or whatever which is at sengkang is going to open soon. at least there will be something for me to do in this area. hhas. had been spending quite alot of money on drinking sessions. didnt regret it yet.. at least it eases my pain.. i tink shes snoring right now. ahah. hmm. gonna finish my naruto anime and den im off to bed. nights!
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 11:20 PM
back from school. sucks. someone took my cig when i left it somewhere..
jus went to some shop at the lrt near my hse to get a new pack.
ahhh. dunno whats wif her jus now. jus said something bad about him and she jus took off. angry or something. zzz. time and time again it jus proves to me tat she loves him much much more den me. ill jus have to accept the truth. theres nth else i can do about it. cant expect her to change for me. she wun. hhas. i cant really expect anything.. shes now going to meet him. do you know how much it hurts to have someone you really love deeply and tat he/she is now in the arms of someone else. it really hurts deeply. what to do except acting like i dun even care but deep inside its bleeding.. well.. what to do. i cant possibly force her not go. it only creates more quarrel and misunderstandings maybe. drinking is the only way to ease this pain deep inside me.. but my liver is jus gonna suffer. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. fuck
having tuition at 6 later.. have to finish my hw before that. tata all.
- tears dont fall.. it crashes around me
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- 4:05 PM
7.09.2008
back from cp. didnt do much except slacking there.
really miss those times when we will jus chat for long hours everyday. ><
off to do hw den off to bed. nights.
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 11:24 PM
well.. my first post at my very own blog.
had a hard time figuring out how to do those blogskins and stuffs.
hhas.
anyway here goes.
things hasn't been very nice to me all this while..
didnt expect her to be this unfair to me ><
talked to her about it but things are like still the same.
she changed..
her attitude, her temper.
getting worst as days go by.
she didnt had this attitude and temper in the past.
maybe shes too stressed up by things or shes jus taking me for granted.. or maybe not i hope.
jus hope tat she can be like the past, a cute and cheerful girl. always smiling away and never fails to make me laugh.
oh well. things dont last forever and it cant be helped =/
hope she can change her temper and attitude cos its killing me already.
o levels are coming soon and i have to buck up on my studies. hha.
few more months and im free :D
looking forward to much longer hair den i have now and much much more. woohoo~
jiayou everyone this year who is having o's too. <3
off to meet frens at starbucks. haven seen them for quite some time.
NO MORE SECRETS FROM NOW ON
- 8:24 PM
LEE JIA SEN